I recently read about Barack Obama's personal secretary. She's 27 years old. The thought that she is the same age as I am is amazing. She is so accomplished at such a young age. I think it is great to see a woman of my age in such an important role, but it made me wonder about my own accomplishments.
I am sure that I am not the first person with diabetes (or the last) to stop and wonder sometimes: What if I didn't have diabetes?
I used to think that maybe I'd be the same person that I am right now - slightly neurotic, clumsy, and a bit disorganized. But lately, I've been thinking that my life would have been completely and totally different as opposed to just slightly different.
If I had never had to worry as a kid about other kids thinking I was "weird" because of my diabetes at school, would I have been more outgoing? If I hadn't had math class right after lunch in high school, unaware at the time that my sugars were spiking right after lunch, could I have been a math genius and gone to MIT?
If I didn't have to worry before I went to bed about my blood sugars dropping in the middle of the night, would I sleep more soundly?
How much more could I have accomplished without my diabetes? Sure, there are many diabetics that pushed through these obstacles and are very much accomplished, but what about the little things that stop us in our tracks everyday? The low blood sugars that hit when we are doing everyday activities.
I think for the most part, I am a better person because of my diabetes in how I view the world. A long while ago, I stopped automatically jumping to the conclusion that someone was "odd" when I saw strange behaviors. People unaware of diabetes must think I'm a bit of a freak when I test my blood sugar on the subway, or when I take out my pump to bolus. For the most part, whenever I see someone doing something strange, I think - there must be a reason.
Diabetes has given me a new perspective on life which I try to keep positive. Instead of thinking of my workouts as risks because my sugar will drop low, I try to think of them as a way to avoid dialysis later in life. Instead of thinking about my future pregnancy being filled with angst and hardships, I try to think of a healthy baby. I can teach him or her to avoid jumping to conclusions about "weird" people.
I am sure that I am not the first person with diabetes (or the last) to stop and wonder sometimes: What if I didn't have diabetes?
I used to think that maybe I'd be the same person that I am right now - slightly neurotic, clumsy, and a bit disorganized. But lately, I've been thinking that my life would have been completely and totally different as opposed to just slightly different.
If I had never had to worry as a kid about other kids thinking I was "weird" because of my diabetes at school, would I have been more outgoing? If I hadn't had math class right after lunch in high school, unaware at the time that my sugars were spiking right after lunch, could I have been a math genius and gone to MIT?
If I didn't have to worry before I went to bed about my blood sugars dropping in the middle of the night, would I sleep more soundly?
How much more could I have accomplished without my diabetes? Sure, there are many diabetics that pushed through these obstacles and are very much accomplished, but what about the little things that stop us in our tracks everyday? The low blood sugars that hit when we are doing everyday activities.
I think for the most part, I am a better person because of my diabetes in how I view the world. A long while ago, I stopped automatically jumping to the conclusion that someone was "odd" when I saw strange behaviors. People unaware of diabetes must think I'm a bit of a freak when I test my blood sugar on the subway, or when I take out my pump to bolus. For the most part, whenever I see someone doing something strange, I think - there must be a reason.
Diabetes has given me a new perspective on life which I try to keep positive. Instead of thinking of my workouts as risks because my sugar will drop low, I try to think of them as a way to avoid dialysis later in life. Instead of thinking about my future pregnancy being filled with angst and hardships, I try to think of a healthy baby. I can teach him or her to avoid jumping to conclusions about "weird" people.
I think that's all we can do. Try to focus on the silver lining, even though it's harder than focusing on the reality of it all sometimes.
